I come from a family of alcoholics! Not something I am proud of but being Portuguese I remember drinking with my dad as early as 7! I could barely see the bar counter sitting on the stool as my dad gave me shots of something called Auguardente (fire water)120 proof and to this day I love it!
Of course times have changed. Yes the legal age for drinking and sex in Portugal is 16 not 21 like in the USA, but it's not 7! Also in those days no-one had cars so my dad would pass out and my mom would have a neighbor knock on the door and she would go pick him up (yes literary carry him) and take him home where the abuse began when he started to sober up! I don't remember a day my dad was not intoxicated!
Today drinking has dire consequences! DUI kills millions of people every year! It destroys life's! It costs the US millions in lost revenues, millions to support coming out of the edicition, millions to financially support drunks and their families and millions i property damage and auto insurance and so on! I think if you're reading this you get the picture.
DUI (Driving under the influence) has also changed in a number of ways! Now it's not just alcohol but we have illegal drugs, over the counter drug elicitation and road rage! Some people get 6 DUI's and don't see the need to change. Some people get DUI's and because of being rich can buy themselves out of one! Some people get DUI's and because they are connected never suffer the consequences! Some people just never learn!
Today DUI's are considered a medical issues! Most if not all insurances pay for rehab treatment and the government spends millions trying to rehabilitate these individuals.
Well let me give you my opinion on DUI based on experience:
A young man In San Francisco (SF)who worked for the light company did not get a DUI, he did not drive or have a car! However part of his job he had a drug test at random! Of course he failed! California considers this an illness and paid him while he went to a program to clean up! Three months later he was to return to work and failed the drug test at which point he was fired!
This lady in SF was going through group therapy for her 6th DUI. She was transported in handcuffs from prison to therapy! Six months later after lots of movies and lots of group discussion she could not see why it was a problem, she never killed anyone so whats the big issue.
This very wealthy man who had hit a telephone pole and caused some other damage to city property and paid for it was in therapy for a DUI. He could never stop saying g he did not belong there because he was very wealthy and could pay for what he damaged!
There are many other stories! I know these people because I was there! I had a DUI! Its the first time I have acknowledged this but if this helps someone it's worth it! I only needed one! The embarrassment I felt was more than I could bare! Never-mind the money it costs for the lawyer and the effect on the community. The thought I could of killed someone was always inside my mind!
But you see the point of this blog is that some people have a love affair with alcohol, drugs etc. Until you reach down deep in their hearts and work on the problem for such love their behavior will never change. In my case I was going through so much drama, a new life, a new community, a new partner and dealing with being gay! I drove out alone drank too much and drove home! My therapist reached down deep and from then on it no longer was an issue! Today because of my many illnesses I rarely drink!
A love affair is hard to break! You either need to replace that love affair with another love or the person will not change! You can talk until you turn blue, but when you're in love with the drug of choice and that is the reason for living you will eventually deal with death at the wheel, yours or someone else!
I remember once in a Ferris Wheel Robert and I talking about my alcohol edicitian! Robert said he could not deal with me drinking all the time, I said I could not deal with him taking drugs all the time! Our relationship bond as withdouble sided tape and yes here and there we fall back but it's never been a problem ever since. You see my Love is Robert and Robert love is me. We replace the love for the addiction with the love g=for each other. This is the only way to solve someone dealing with addiction. They need to love themselves, their family, have a purpose to live, understand the devasting consequancequesces of the ir action, and much more before they change!
I have lost two friends to DUI, One I loved from my early years! It was a trip we made often as he drove intoxicated and I i fear of my life! He drove that route on too many times and left earth at an age of 42, but left alone! One died of self infliction after going from middle class no no class living on the streets do to a drug addiction! these two stories are a blog in itself! But both were in love with alcohol and drugs and no matter what I or anyone said it was only a matter of time before tragedy would happen.
The devastation on their families especially the children is heartbreaking! It's a selfish act! You never loved anyone but the drug of choice. Until you love yourself and those around you, the beauty we see everyday, the love around us, peace of mind, a bright future, a reason for being here, if you are driving under the influence you will eventually deal with death at the wheel, your's or worse someone else!
Talking from experience!
Dr. Q
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