Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Abilio's View: Avoiding a disaster, keep moving!
Abilio's View: Avoiding a disaster, keep moving!: I used to live in the Jersey Shore in Ventnor which I am sure along with Atlantic City was very hard hit by Sandy! I used to have nightmares...
Avoiding a disaster, keep moving!
I used to live in the Jersey Shore in Ventnor which I am sure along with Atlantic City was very hard hit by Sandy! I used to have nightmares of waking up and the island being surrounded by water, and I lived on the second floor!
I moved quickly to May's Landing and eventually Egg Harbor City away from the shore! I never anticipated something like Sandy but I always worried about living too close to the shore, any shore! We now live in Deerfield Beach (Florida Shore) but it's about 4-5 miles inland away from the shore!
I've always tried to move away from where hurricanes tend to be destructive, earthquakes tend to happen, fires tend to destroy, Tornadoes destroy cities or water tends to move things believed unmovable!I keep moving! I imagine eventually we will stay long enough in one place where we may face a disaster but until now they have happened to places we either lived after or before the disaster! We like many American's have been fortunate!
Sometimes the best view in the world can disappear in a blink of an eye! How pleasurable it is to see such a view and go home to not such a pleasant one!Sometimes we pay for the risks we take, living at water level has it's disadvantages even though they may be every century!
Global warming will cause more destruction as time moves on and we all will face it one time or another. Some may be lucky enough not tto ever see such destruction if they just keep on moving maybe avoiding what Sandy just delivered!
Dr Q
I moved quickly to May's Landing and eventually Egg Harbor City away from the shore! I never anticipated something like Sandy but I always worried about living too close to the shore, any shore! We now live in Deerfield Beach (Florida Shore) but it's about 4-5 miles inland away from the shore!
I've always tried to move away from where hurricanes tend to be destructive, earthquakes tend to happen, fires tend to destroy, Tornadoes destroy cities or water tends to move things believed unmovable!I keep moving! I imagine eventually we will stay long enough in one place where we may face a disaster but until now they have happened to places we either lived after or before the disaster! We like many American's have been fortunate!
Sometimes the best view in the world can disappear in a blink of an eye! How pleasurable it is to see such a view and go home to not such a pleasant one!Sometimes we pay for the risks we take, living at water level has it's disadvantages even though they may be every century!
Global warming will cause more destruction as time moves on and we all will face it one time or another. Some may be lucky enough not tto ever see such destruction if they just keep on moving maybe avoiding what Sandy just delivered!
Dr Q
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Abilio's View: The art of moving, God's direction?
Abilio's View: The art of moving, God's direction?: I am a firm believer of a creator but this bog is not about this subject! Someone has been guiding us for the last 15 years and it has led u...
The art of moving, God's direction?
I am a firm believer of a creator but this bog is not about this subject! Someone has been guiding us for the last 15 years and it has led us to move almost every other year if calculated over the 15 years!
Recently we left a beautiful home in Hudson (the pits of Florida) to Wilton Manors in Fort Lauderdale. That move lasted 3 months and we moved again to Deerfield Beach where is a little more our taste!
Yes we miss the big house but it was becoming too much too maintain! I know my family felt disappointed leaving their home, but I follow my instincts and it took us to Wilton Manors for 3 months! Was this the creators direction?
I believe so! After my mom died I had become numb to life! There was no happiness inside me and we made the decision to move to a bad neighborhood and a place way too small! But what came out of this move was our neighbor Bob! Bob's comical way of looking at life brought life back within me! For the first time after my mom's death I smiled and laughed again! I was content and though not happy with the living arrangements life became more bearable! Bob is now like family and though we have moved we see him just as often!
So is the art of moving one of God's direction? I believe it is! We have met wonderful people throughout the USA as we have moved many times to many states! We moved closer to family, away from family at times due to work, but really we moved because we were being directed to!
We would of never have had the experiences and stories and so many friends if the art of moving was not one of direction by God!
Dr Q
Recently we left a beautiful home in Hudson (the pits of Florida) to Wilton Manors in Fort Lauderdale. That move lasted 3 months and we moved again to Deerfield Beach where is a little more our taste!
Yes we miss the big house but it was becoming too much too maintain! I know my family felt disappointed leaving their home, but I follow my instincts and it took us to Wilton Manors for 3 months! Was this the creators direction?
I believe so! After my mom died I had become numb to life! There was no happiness inside me and we made the decision to move to a bad neighborhood and a place way too small! But what came out of this move was our neighbor Bob! Bob's comical way of looking at life brought life back within me! For the first time after my mom's death I smiled and laughed again! I was content and though not happy with the living arrangements life became more bearable! Bob is now like family and though we have moved we see him just as often!
So is the art of moving one of God's direction? I believe it is! We have met wonderful people throughout the USA as we have moved many times to many states! We moved closer to family, away from family at times due to work, but really we moved because we were being directed to!
We would of never have had the experiences and stories and so many friends if the art of moving was not one of direction by God!
Dr Q
Friday, October 26, 2012
Abilio's View: Dealing with Comcast
Abilio's View: Dealing with Comcast: It would seem to me changing an account from one address to another would a simple process! Or they seem to lead you to believe it is! I h...
Dealing with Comcast
It would seem to me changing an account from one address to another would a simple process! Or they seem to lead you to believe it is!
I have been with Comcast all week trying to get my new address working. First the technician that showed up had no concept of what he was doing and left without leaving me satisfied:
I ordered wireless, I go no wireless
I ordered HDMI boxes I got non HDMI boxes
I ordered it installed in a specific location, he installed the router where it was convenient for him
I asked to take the equipment, he said he could not
The first technician was more interested in talking to whomever he was on the phone with in another language, than he was in taking care of my service issues.
Now I have a technician here trying to resolve the issue and we have half the services working sand half not working! Sometimes a company gets too big to adequately service it's customers! I find this has happened to Comcast! Either that or they just don;t have the infrastructure to manage who they have as customers! Or maybe, just maybe they don't give a shit about their customers.
I have been with Comcast all week trying to get my new address working. First the technician that showed up had no concept of what he was doing and left without leaving me satisfied:
I ordered wireless, I go no wireless
I ordered HDMI boxes I got non HDMI boxes
I ordered it installed in a specific location, he installed the router where it was convenient for him
I asked to take the equipment, he said he could not
The first technician was more interested in talking to whomever he was on the phone with in another language, than he was in taking care of my service issues.
Now I have a technician here trying to resolve the issue and we have half the services working sand half not working! Sometimes a company gets too big to adequately service it's customers! I find this has happened to Comcast! Either that or they just don;t have the infrastructure to manage who they have as customers! Or maybe, just maybe they don't give a shit about their customers.
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Abilio's View: People need to socialize, why?
Abilio's View: People need to socialize, why?: As I sat at Bill's the other night I wondered, why do people find a need to go out of their circle to socialize? Considering we are born alo...
People need to socialize, why?
As I sat at Bill's the other night I wondered, why do people find a need to go out of their circle to socialize? Considering we are born alone, why do we as adults socialize sometimes in large numbers? Robh and I sat and discussed this and we arrived at the following reasons!
First socializing is a learned behavior!
Reason for socializing:
Loneliness (number one cause of death)
Get laid (picking up a trick)
Friends drag you out (not a social person)
A reason to drink (join AA)
To relive memories
All of the above
What was I doing at Bill's? I was having beer which I don't particularly like anymore and thee is no-one besides Rob I would be there for. In addition I am in pain whenever I go out ! So what brought me to Bill's?
Sometimes I feel I need to address the need Rob is 10 years younger than me and he still has needs to socialize. After all he grew up in a social setting always out and about with his friends doing sometimes things that young people should shun! Sometimes I too get lonely and maybe just maybe we can meet a friend or two while at a function such as Bill's! This has a 90% odd against you!
We did it again last night! We went to Miami Beach for Rob's high school reunion and no-one showed up! So we made the best of it and spent some quality time together which could of been better spent at the beach nearby!
Don't get me wrong I am a social butterfly, but as I age I wonder why when people seem to be self centered and ignore those no longer in a social setting such as work or involved in a business!
So next time you find yourself out look around and ask youreself, why am I here?
Chat soon!
Dr Q
First socializing is a learned behavior!
Reason for socializing:
Loneliness (number one cause of death)
Get laid (picking up a trick)
Friends drag you out (not a social person)
A reason to drink (join AA)
To relive memories
All of the above
What was I doing at Bill's? I was having beer which I don't particularly like anymore and thee is no-one besides Rob I would be there for. In addition I am in pain whenever I go out ! So what brought me to Bill's?
Sometimes I feel I need to address the need Rob is 10 years younger than me and he still has needs to socialize. After all he grew up in a social setting always out and about with his friends doing sometimes things that young people should shun! Sometimes I too get lonely and maybe just maybe we can meet a friend or two while at a function such as Bill's! This has a 90% odd against you!
We did it again last night! We went to Miami Beach for Rob's high school reunion and no-one showed up! So we made the best of it and spent some quality time together which could of been better spent at the beach nearby!
Don't get me wrong I am a social butterfly, but as I age I wonder why when people seem to be self centered and ignore those no longer in a social setting such as work or involved in a business!
So next time you find yourself out look around and ask youreself, why am I here?
Chat soon!
Dr Q
Friday, August 10, 2012
Abilio's View: A world without sex!
Abilio's View: A world without sex!: It's been a subject I hold dearly to my heart! I know the biblical reason for sex (to bring people into the world), but why did the creator ...
A world without sex!
It's been a subject I hold dearly to my heart! I know the biblical reason for sex (to bring people into the world), but why did the creator introduce so much pleasure in a sexual experience? Is it possible to have a world without sex?
The answer is yes, the probability is NO!
Let's discuss; sex is a way to connect! Some people feel as one, some people it's just sex! Some people sex is not important it's the emotional connection! Some people are self centered and just want to fulfill their individual needs and some just need the company and sex is becomes part of the moment and some are personal satisfaction and once satisfied it's either n ext or get out!
Some people are just happy with someone and months if not years can go without having sex! This is a highly level of relationship (love) most people don't understand! his raises the question, does sex have anything to do with love? Since there are various levels of love I would say, NO!
One loves a brother sister and mother they love friends and some even acquaintances yet do not have sex with them! So why do couple put so much emphasis on sex when they fall in love! Why does society make it seem if you're not having sex everyday you're relationship is not working! And more importantly if you and you're partner like having sex with others, why does it seem that one feels not loved?
I believe we are taught that sex is a must if you're in love! You may see it with you're parents! You may be told by others as you grow, you may have heard of the many fabrications of love and sex! What is the truth and reality though? This is based on every individuals beliefs and needs!
I will not discuss my feeling since they are well defined in my relationship, but I have always believed sex is a must for love! However since sex is 2% of you're relationship I would value the 98% more and work on the sex issue if one existed This is where society goes wrong!
More emphasis is put on the 2% than the 98% causing divorces in America at 52%! Most relationships if not all start falling apart because of sex challenges! So next time ask yourself and discuss it with you're partner whats important and is 2% worth losing you're relationship, or is 98% worth saving!
We are by definition sexual creatures, so to a happy sex life!
DR Q
The answer is yes, the probability is NO!
Let's discuss; sex is a way to connect! Some people feel as one, some people it's just sex! Some people sex is not important it's the emotional connection! Some people are self centered and just want to fulfill their individual needs and some just need the company and sex is becomes part of the moment and some are personal satisfaction and once satisfied it's either n ext or get out!
Some people are just happy with someone and months if not years can go without having sex! This is a highly level of relationship (love) most people don't understand! his raises the question, does sex have anything to do with love? Since there are various levels of love I would say, NO!
One loves a brother sister and mother they love friends and some even acquaintances yet do not have sex with them! So why do couple put so much emphasis on sex when they fall in love! Why does society make it seem if you're not having sex everyday you're relationship is not working! And more importantly if you and you're partner like having sex with others, why does it seem that one feels not loved?
I believe we are taught that sex is a must if you're in love! You may see it with you're parents! You may be told by others as you grow, you may have heard of the many fabrications of love and sex! What is the truth and reality though? This is based on every individuals beliefs and needs!
I will not discuss my feeling since they are well defined in my relationship, but I have always believed sex is a must for love! However since sex is 2% of you're relationship I would value the 98% more and work on the sex issue if one existed This is where society goes wrong!
More emphasis is put on the 2% than the 98% causing divorces in America at 52%! Most relationships if not all start falling apart because of sex challenges! So next time ask yourself and discuss it with you're partner whats important and is 2% worth losing you're relationship, or is 98% worth saving!
We are by definition sexual creatures, so to a happy sex life!
DR Q
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Abilio's View: The End of FACEBOOK!
Abilio's View: The End of FACEBOOK!: First there are community chat rooms that have better interfaces than Facebook! I for one like PATH! But this is not the reason for the down...
The End of FACEBOOK!
First there are community chat rooms that have better interfaces than Facebook! I for one like PATH! But this is not the reason for the downfall of Facebook! The downfall of Facebook is very simple, its a fad!
Everyone knows this! One time I would have all my family and we would communicate strictly through Facebook! That has been replaced by the old fashion way of talking or txt'g via a cell phone!
Facebook's first mistake was buying a rarely known company for 1 Billion dollars! Instagram is kewl but the features already exist in other apps! The second mistake is thinking it has something to sell! It's not like Google or Apple, it sells nothing except these silly add's one may click! Anyone who pays for that is silly!
The downfall of Facebook with be the result of Facebook thinking it is what it's not! It's not too big to fail and fall like domino's! It's been nice knowing you, but like many companies that thought they were something I say, you will not be missed!
Dr Q
Everyone knows this! One time I would have all my family and we would communicate strictly through Facebook! That has been replaced by the old fashion way of talking or txt'g via a cell phone!
Facebook's first mistake was buying a rarely known company for 1 Billion dollars! Instagram is kewl but the features already exist in other apps! The second mistake is thinking it has something to sell! It's not like Google or Apple, it sells nothing except these silly add's one may click! Anyone who pays for that is silly!
The downfall of Facebook with be the result of Facebook thinking it is what it's not! It's not too big to fail and fall like domino's! It's been nice knowing you, but like many companies that thought they were something I say, you will not be missed!
Dr Q
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Abilio's View: What will you do this November?
Abilio's View: What will you do this November?: I loved Ronald Reagan, Bill Clinton and enjoy Barack Obama as our president! I remember a line from Ronald "Are you better than 4 years ag...
What will you do this November?
I loved Ronald Reagan, Bill Clinton and enjoy Barack Obama as our president!
I remember a line from Ronald "Are you better than 4 years ago" as he took on Carter. It wasn't Carters fault! He was taken on by big gun's the lobbyist!
This is a very short blog, 4 years ago President Obama arrived to a possible depression, somehow with patience and wit he took us to where we are today! It's not perfect yet but Republicans got us into this mess, do we forget so fast and put another one back!
Just ask yourself how were we 4 years ago! What was our country facing as a republican left office? And it's easy what do do coming November for the presidency and, congress and senate!!
I remember a line from Ronald "Are you better than 4 years ago" as he took on Carter. It wasn't Carters fault! He was taken on by big gun's the lobbyist!
This is a very short blog, 4 years ago President Obama arrived to a possible depression, somehow with patience and wit he took us to where we are today! It's not perfect yet but Republicans got us into this mess, do we forget so fast and put another one back!
Just ask yourself how were we 4 years ago! What was our country facing as a republican left office? And it's easy what do do coming November for the presidency and, congress and senate!!
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Abilio's View: Embrace change, the only "constant"!
Abilio's View: Embrace change, the only "constant"!: It is often said that if you're not moving forward, you're moving backwards! The only way anyone can move forward in to embrace change! If y...
Embrace change, the only "constant"!
It is often said that if you're not moving forward, you're moving backwards! The only way anyone can move forward in to embrace change! If you can be assured of anything on earth is that change is the only constant!
Wether you want it or not people, places and things are constantly changing! Those who embrace change and sometimes at a high price tend to be happy and live very good life's! Those that don;t end up falling further and further from mainstream America!
Look around, if you have children they change before you're eyes, if you have a garden it changes before you're eyes if you have friend's they change before you're eyes for good or bad!
We are about to change! We don't know where but we know when! You see Rob would be happy (Luis) with me if we lived in a cardboard box as long as he is with me, but I need family and friends and so it's time to change!
I have always embraced change and am happy that I foresee change in the very foreseeable future!
Chat soon,
Dr Q
Wether you want it or not people, places and things are constantly changing! Those who embrace change and sometimes at a high price tend to be happy and live very good life's! Those that don;t end up falling further and further from mainstream America!
Look around, if you have children they change before you're eyes, if you have a garden it changes before you're eyes if you have friend's they change before you're eyes for good or bad!
We are about to change! We don't know where but we know when! You see Rob would be happy (Luis) with me if we lived in a cardboard box as long as he is with me, but I need family and friends and so it's time to change!
I have always embraced change and am happy that I foresee change in the very foreseeable future!
Chat soon,
Dr Q
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Abilio's View: Mothers Day WITHOUT a Mother!
Abilio's View: Mothers Day WITHOUT a Mother!: Born Catholic and raised as one of Jehovah's Witnesses, Mothers Day was everyday! However in recent years before my mom died Mother's Day to...
Mothers Day WITHOUT a Mother!
Born Catholic and raised as one of Jehovah's Witnesses, Mothers Day was everyday! However in recent years before my mom died Mother's Day took a different meaning! It was a time like other holiday's we made a special effort to all get together at Mom's house and eat bring some flowers and just enjoy her company!
For the first time in my life I don;t have a mother on Mother's Day!But the saddest thing is I don;t have a mother any day! Being baptized as a Catholic at birth there was something given to me called a Godmother! I never thought much about it until my mom died! I have known her she is about 10 years older than me and I call it wisdom on my mothers part for she has been my joy in recent weeks!
Her name is Lidia DeJesus, she lives in MA and she has been there to give me some wisdom and listen to me, but more important she has become my substituted Mother! She called me to thank me for the flowers I know send her instead of my mother and to tell me this would be a hard weekend but to be strong for my mother is resting in better place!
I appreciate the kind loving words! She recently told me and I deal with issues with my siblings "that as you age it becomes easier just to turn the other side of you're face"! Abilio sometimes you just have to let it go even if you're right! This is the wisdom I miss from my mother but am happy the creator provided me with someone who would take over when my mother died!
I dedicate this to my Godmother! She may never read it but I deeply appreciate her on this, the first Mother's Day without my mother!
Happy Mother's day to everyone and please appreciate you're mother! A treasure that once gone is never seen again!
To My mother and Godmother!
Dr Q
For the first time in my life I don;t have a mother on Mother's Day!But the saddest thing is I don;t have a mother any day! Being baptized as a Catholic at birth there was something given to me called a Godmother! I never thought much about it until my mom died! I have known her she is about 10 years older than me and I call it wisdom on my mothers part for she has been my joy in recent weeks!
Her name is Lidia DeJesus, she lives in MA and she has been there to give me some wisdom and listen to me, but more important she has become my substituted Mother! She called me to thank me for the flowers I know send her instead of my mother and to tell me this would be a hard weekend but to be strong for my mother is resting in better place!
I appreciate the kind loving words! She recently told me and I deal with issues with my siblings "that as you age it becomes easier just to turn the other side of you're face"! Abilio sometimes you just have to let it go even if you're right! This is the wisdom I miss from my mother but am happy the creator provided me with someone who would take over when my mother died!
I dedicate this to my Godmother! She may never read it but I deeply appreciate her on this, the first Mother's Day without my mother!
Happy Mother's day to everyone and please appreciate you're mother! A treasure that once gone is never seen again!
To My mother and Godmother!
Dr Q
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Abilio's View: Help wanted, nobody available! Lazy fucking Americ...
Abilio's View: Help wanted, nobody available! Lazy fucking Americ...: Everywhere I go I see help wanted signs around Tampa Bay so I ask myself why is unemployment so high iin the USA and Florida! It's a very si...
Help wanted, nobody available! Lazy fucking Americans!
Everywhere I go I see help wanted signs around Tampa Bay so I ask myself why is unemployment so high iin the USA and Florida! It's a very simple answer! Americans have become accustomed to getting money and not working!
The unemployment system was to support people during a recession, but what has happened is worse than a recession, people don't want to work!
I have family members working two full time jobs! Dam they not only found one hob but two! I have some friends that it cost more to go to work than they made but within mnths they were making 18 hr. I moved here and before I was disabled I got a job at 100k.
So it sup[rises me when I hear the horror stories of no work! I also have moved cross country twice for work and down the east coast for the same. So the bottom line based on my view is there is work but America's love doing nothing. Some prefer to steal to get by or street begging and then beach time. After all this is Florida and who the fuck wants to work, right!
I tell you what, cut benefits and stop handing people free stuff and you will see how fast they get a job! Help the sick, disabled but make it so healthy strong people work. IT may not be at the pay scale they are accustomed to but that comes with time and proving yourself! This may stop the drug problem we are facing with our young people. Get some pride, get a job!
Back in the middle 60's we had a bad recession and I remember going from 60k to 25k and I thought my life would end! Within 6 months I was making 80k. I loved to work and the pay showed!
So lazy Americans get off you're coach stop getting obese and work hard and keep America moving forward!
Talk soon!
Dr Q
The unemployment system was to support people during a recession, but what has happened is worse than a recession, people don't want to work!
I have family members working two full time jobs! Dam they not only found one hob but two! I have some friends that it cost more to go to work than they made but within mnths they were making 18 hr. I moved here and before I was disabled I got a job at 100k.
So it sup[rises me when I hear the horror stories of no work! I also have moved cross country twice for work and down the east coast for the same. So the bottom line based on my view is there is work but America's love doing nothing. Some prefer to steal to get by or street begging and then beach time. After all this is Florida and who the fuck wants to work, right!
I tell you what, cut benefits and stop handing people free stuff and you will see how fast they get a job! Help the sick, disabled but make it so healthy strong people work. IT may not be at the pay scale they are accustomed to but that comes with time and proving yourself! This may stop the drug problem we are facing with our young people. Get some pride, get a job!
Back in the middle 60's we had a bad recession and I remember going from 60k to 25k and I thought my life would end! Within 6 months I was making 80k. I loved to work and the pay showed!
So lazy Americans get off you're coach stop getting obese and work hard and keep America moving forward!
Talk soon!
Dr Q
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
How do we grief and deal with depression?
Meaning: Intense sorrow caused by loss of a loved one (especially by death)
Losing someone or something you love is very painful. After a significant loss, you may experience all kinds of difficult and surprising emotions, such as shock, anger, and guilt. Sometimes it may feel like the sadness will never let up. While these feelings can be frightening and overwhelming, they are normal reactions to loss. Accepting them as part of the grieving process and allowing yourself to feel what you feel is necessary for healing.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve — but there are healthy ways to cope with the pain. You can get through it! Grief that is expressed and experienced has a potential for healing that eventually can
What is grief?
Grief is a natural response to loss. It’s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away. You may associate grief with the death of a loved one – and this type of loss does often cause the most intense grief. But any loss can cause grief, including:
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The more significant the loss, the more intense the grief. However, even subtle losses can lead to grief. For example, you might experience grief after moving away from home, graduating from college, changing jobs, selling your family home, or retiring from a career you loved.
Everyone grieves differently
Grieving is a personal and highly individual experience. How you grieve depends on many factors, including your personality and coping style, your life experience, your faith, and the nature of the loss. The grieving process takes time. Healing happens gradually; it can’t be forced or hurried – and there is no “normal” timetable for grieving. Some people start to feel better in weeks or months. For others, the grieving process is measured in years. Whatever your grief experience, it’s important to be patient with yourself and allow the process to naturally unfold.
Coping with grief and loss tip 1: Get support
The single most important factor in healing from loss is having the support of other people. Even if you aren’t comfortable talking about your feelings under normal circumstances, it’s important to express them when you’re grieving. Sharing your loss makes the burden of grief easier to carry. Wherever the support comes from, accept it and do not grieve alone. Connecting to others will help you heal.
Finding support after a loss
- Turn to friends and family members – Now is the time to lean on the people who care about you, even if you take pride in being strong and self-sufficient. Draw loved ones close, rather than avoiding them, and accept the assistance that’s offered. Oftentimes, people want to help but don’t know how, so tell them what you need – whether it’s a shoulder to cry on or help with funeral arrangements.
- Draw comfort from your faith – If you follow a religious tradition, embrace the comfort its mourning rituals can provide. Spiritual activities that are meaningful to you – such as praying, meditating, or going to church – can offer solace. If you’re questioning your faith in the wake of the loss, talk to a clergy member or others in your religious community.
- Join a support group – Grief can feel very lonely, even when you have loved ones around. Sharing your sorrow with others who have experienced similar losses can help. To find a bereavement support group in your area, contact local hospitals, hospices, funeral homes, and counseling centers.
- Talk to a therapist or grief counselor – If your grief feels like too much to bear, call a mental health professional with experience in grief counseling. An experienced therapist can help you work through intense emotions and overcome obstacles to your grieving.
Coping with grief and loss tip 2: Take care of yourself
When you’re grieving, it’s more important than ever to take care of yourself. The stress of a major loss can quickly deplete your energy and emotional reserves. Looking after your physical and emotional needs will help you get through this difficult time.
The difference between grief and depression
Distinguishing between grief and clinical depression isn’t always easy, since they share many symptoms. However, there are ways to tell the difference. Remember, grief can be a roller coaster. It involves a wide variety of emotions and a mix of good and bad days. Even when you’re in the middle of the grieving process, you will have moments of pleasure or happiness. With depression, on the other hand, the feelings of emptiness and despair are constant.
Other symptoms that suggest depression, not just grief:
When to seek professional help for griefIf you recognize any of the above symptoms of complicated grief or clinical depression, talk to a mental health professional right away. Left untreated, complicated grief and depression can lead to significant emotional damage, life-threatening health problems, and even suicide. But treatment can help you get better.
Contact a grief counselor or professional therapist if you:
Chat soon
Dr Q
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Monday, May 7, 2012
Abilio's View: What has Obama done wrong, NOTHING!
Abilio's View: What has Obama done wrong, NOTHING!: Americans quickly forget the past! They remember presidents like Ronald Reagan and Bill Clinton, but fail to realize both deal;t with devast...
What has Obama done wrong, NOTHING!
Americans quickly forget the past! They remember presidents like Ronald Reagan and Bill Clinton, but fail to realize both deal;t with devastating times but not even close to what Obama came into the white house with!
We were facing a depression, yes a depression! The house was falling down because George W Bush ruined the foundation!People forget but I don't!
The stock market at 6000
Lines of unemployed people
Hunger lines
People loosing their homes faster that those buying (we lost ours)
People lacked confidence in the future
President Obama brought back a sense of calm! He was confident things would get better and they have! This is not a long blog! Just to think we would even consider putting a rich unconnected person back in the white house in mind boggling. The man needs 8 years to try and fix things and then we can judge him on his accomplishments!
He will go down as a President Reagan and Clinton! I actually think he will become one of the greatest presidents of the country ever!
The next 4 years under President Obama will be great one for us the country and world!
Chat soon
Dr Q
We were facing a depression, yes a depression! The house was falling down because George W Bush ruined the foundation!People forget but I don't!
The stock market at 6000
Lines of unemployed people
Hunger lines
People loosing their homes faster that those buying (we lost ours)
People lacked confidence in the future
President Obama brought back a sense of calm! He was confident things would get better and they have! This is not a long blog! Just to think we would even consider putting a rich unconnected person back in the white house in mind boggling. The man needs 8 years to try and fix things and then we can judge him on his accomplishments!
He will go down as a President Reagan and Clinton! I actually think he will become one of the greatest presidents of the country ever!
The next 4 years under President Obama will be great one for us the country and world!
Chat soon
Dr Q
Friday, May 4, 2012
Abilio's View: The downfall of Macy's, CREDIT CARD whoring!
Abilio's View: The downfall of Macy's, CREDIT CARD whoring!: First don't get me wrong! I love Macy's! I have been shopping at Macy's for over 40 years! Of course most of the stores I shopped at were no...
The downfall of Macy's, CREDIT CARD whoring!
First don't get me wrong! I love Macy's! I have been shopping at Macy's for over 40 years! Of course most of the stores I shopped at were not called Macy's but they have cornered the market by buying everything that competed against them!
I HAD TWO FILENE'S CREDIT CARDS. I REALLY LOVED FILENE'S, BUT MACY'S MUST OF BEEN AFRAID OF FILENE'S! i NEVER WAS ASKED 12 TIMES AS I WALKED THROUGHPUT FILENE'S IF I WANTED A CREDIT CARD! I JUST LIKED THEM SO I HAD TWO!
I spend my life telling corporations and government that if you focus on quality products and great customer service all of the other needs resolve themselves. If customers love the store and you do a great job with the customer, you don;t have to ask they will open credit cards and do what it takes to be part of the family!
I used to be a BLACK DIAMOND card holder! Spending 6-10k a year at Macy; not because I was asked if I needed another card, but because I loved Macy's. Well recently I am getting upset that the focus seems to be "do you have a card" rather then providing a quality product and exceptional service, or you're treated different. I even had someone recently tell me to hurry up, they had things to do!
Macy's should remember that yes they have been here since the I" I love Lucy show"! But so was Grant's the then largest US chain! They are gone! Then came Aime's and they are gone, Kmart followed and they are hanging by a thread! Walmart is having it's challenges and unless Macy's changes their behavior they too will go the way of the dinosaur!
MACY'S STOP WHORING CREDIT CARDS AND GO BACK TO BASICS. QUALITY SERVICE AND PRICE!
Chat soon
Retired Director of Quality Engineering
Dr Q
I HAD TWO FILENE'S CREDIT CARDS. I REALLY LOVED FILENE'S, BUT MACY'S MUST OF BEEN AFRAID OF FILENE'S! i NEVER WAS ASKED 12 TIMES AS I WALKED THROUGHPUT FILENE'S IF I WANTED A CREDIT CARD! I JUST LIKED THEM SO I HAD TWO!
I spend my life telling corporations and government that if you focus on quality products and great customer service all of the other needs resolve themselves. If customers love the store and you do a great job with the customer, you don;t have to ask they will open credit cards and do what it takes to be part of the family!
I used to be a BLACK DIAMOND card holder! Spending 6-10k a year at Macy; not because I was asked if I needed another card, but because I loved Macy's. Well recently I am getting upset that the focus seems to be "do you have a card" rather then providing a quality product and exceptional service, or you're treated different. I even had someone recently tell me to hurry up, they had things to do!
Macy's should remember that yes they have been here since the I" I love Lucy show"! But so was Grant's the then largest US chain! They are gone! Then came Aime's and they are gone, Kmart followed and they are hanging by a thread! Walmart is having it's challenges and unless Macy's changes their behavior they too will go the way of the dinosaur!
MACY'S STOP WHORING CREDIT CARDS AND GO BACK TO BASICS. QUALITY SERVICE AND PRICE!
Chat soon
Retired Director of Quality Engineering
Dr Q
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Abilio's View: Mom was right! Everyone carry's their baggage!
Abilio's View: Mom was right! Everyone carry's their baggage!: This morning I awoke dreaming of my mother. I would imagine this will go on either until I lose my mind or I die. But this is not the reas...
Mom was right! Everyone carry's their baggage!
This morning I awoke dreaming of my mother. I would imagine this will go on either until I lose my mind or I die.
But this is not the reason for this blog! I have been one to entertain hundreds of people at times. It was always fun to work hard to entertain people, give away t-shirts and at times trophy's for the fastest runners to the best people in our life.I just enjoyed this with my x-wife and with Rob!
But my mom was right! As she attended these functions, she always pulled me aside and said enjoy them for the DeSousa's as they age stop entertaining and rather be entertained! Actually she said we tend to shy away from people and become unsocial! Well the time has arrived!
I don't know why! I have this desire to entertain and then comes the what I call (bullshit), and I cancel and head somewhere with just Robert!I guess as we age, we get tired of people in general! They have baggage and I don't have the time to carry it!
Simply put, if you can leave the drama or as I call it, baggage at home I am happy to entertain you! But that being said, in this complicated world everyone carry's their baggage wherever they go!
Enjoy,
Dr Q
But this is not the reason for this blog! I have been one to entertain hundreds of people at times. It was always fun to work hard to entertain people, give away t-shirts and at times trophy's for the fastest runners to the best people in our life.I just enjoyed this with my x-wife and with Rob!
But my mom was right! As she attended these functions, she always pulled me aside and said enjoy them for the DeSousa's as they age stop entertaining and rather be entertained! Actually she said we tend to shy away from people and become unsocial! Well the time has arrived!
I don't know why! I have this desire to entertain and then comes the what I call (bullshit), and I cancel and head somewhere with just Robert!I guess as we age, we get tired of people in general! They have baggage and I don't have the time to carry it!
Simply put, if you can leave the drama or as I call it, baggage at home I am happy to entertain you! But that being said, in this complicated world everyone carry's their baggage wherever they go!
Enjoy,
Dr Q
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Abilio's View: Time's most infuencial people 2012
Abilio's View: Time's most infuencial people 2012: I have always been amazed who is on this list! Don't get me wrong I understand why some of these people are influential. however Time forget...
Time's most infuencial people 2012
I have always been amazed who is on this list! Don't get me wrong I understand why some of these people are influential. however Time forgets that most American's will never meet these people amd so thought they may influence our life's one way or another the real influential people are closer to us!
We cannot, and I say cannot forget those that really influence us and in the process makes us better human's, better neighbors, better father's, mothers and so on! Let me give you an few example",
My Mother: Though she is gone her words remain permanently engraved in my mind! What she taught me about the world, how she felt about my partner and her love for the family makes her the most influential person in my life!
My Uncle:In 54 year I have never heard my uncle bad mouth anyone! He is always positive and even when facing some challenging family issues he is always smiling and doing his macho, I will never age twist!
My best friend: He is always positive, calls at the right moment! He is always there and at times when I felt there was no reason for living, he was always there with some type of encouragement, pushing me to move forward.
My cousin: Well she is just that little bit of religious person we all need in our life! Just enough to shoe she cares by praying for you, but never in you're face about it. She is always positive and like her father never has badmouthed anyone in my presence.
My partner: Well he is the epidimy of goodness! He is why I find joy in life. Always positive even when I know things are not going his way or the right way! He is kind, supportive, empathetic and loving!
There are so many others! So as you read these list of influential people that may never impact you're life, look around for those that do everyday of you're life!
Dr Q
Chart soon!
We cannot, and I say cannot forget those that really influence us and in the process makes us better human's, better neighbors, better father's, mothers and so on! Let me give you an few example",
My Mother: Though she is gone her words remain permanently engraved in my mind! What she taught me about the world, how she felt about my partner and her love for the family makes her the most influential person in my life!
My Uncle:In 54 year I have never heard my uncle bad mouth anyone! He is always positive and even when facing some challenging family issues he is always smiling and doing his macho, I will never age twist!
My best friend: He is always positive, calls at the right moment! He is always there and at times when I felt there was no reason for living, he was always there with some type of encouragement, pushing me to move forward.
My cousin: Well she is just that little bit of religious person we all need in our life! Just enough to shoe she cares by praying for you, but never in you're face about it. She is always positive and like her father never has badmouthed anyone in my presence.
My partner: Well he is the epidimy of goodness! He is why I find joy in life. Always positive even when I know things are not going his way or the right way! He is kind, supportive, empathetic and loving!
There are so many others! So as you read these list of influential people that may never impact you're life, look around for those that do everyday of you're life!
Dr Q
Chart soon!
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Abilio's View: When you have the best!
Abilio's View: When you have the best!: We recently because of continued billing issues changed our cable TV from Verizon FIOS to Brighthouse and it lasted 2 weeks! Why? I mean we ...
When you have the best!
We recently because of continued billing issues changed our cable TV from Verizon FIOS to Brighthouse and it lasted 2 weeks! Why? I mean we had Brighthouse for years before we changed to FIOS! It is actually very simple! We hate to downgrade!
Recently Rob and I have been looking for a house in Orlando with no avail. You see we can;t downgrade from what we have. Wether it's TV, House. Music player etc humans have a difficult time downgrading unless there is no other option!
This is also applied to friendship, sex, and even other relationships. It's applied to restaurants, food, drinks and on and on! We hate to downgrade. In every aspect of our life's we humans, once we taste the good life or new technology we are captured. It's what marketing uses to get us to be in long lines when something new comes out! We embrace new concepts, ideas and gadgets as we do friends and partners.
I can't say it's right or wrong! But don't take my Galaxy Tablet, my new Galaxy android or my Verizon FIOS!
Chat soon
Dr Q
Recently Rob and I have been looking for a house in Orlando with no avail. You see we can;t downgrade from what we have. Wether it's TV, House. Music player etc humans have a difficult time downgrading unless there is no other option!
This is also applied to friendship, sex, and even other relationships. It's applied to restaurants, food, drinks and on and on! We hate to downgrade. In every aspect of our life's we humans, once we taste the good life or new technology we are captured. It's what marketing uses to get us to be in long lines when something new comes out! We embrace new concepts, ideas and gadgets as we do friends and partners.
I can't say it's right or wrong! But don't take my Galaxy Tablet, my new Galaxy android or my Verizon FIOS!
Chat soon
Dr Q
Monday, April 9, 2012
Abilio's View: "If only you knew mom"!
Abilio's View: "If only you knew mom"!: Patti La Belle one of the greatest singers ever to exist and someone I would love to meet sings a song by that title! Sometimes we wait to...
"If only you knew mom"!
Patti La Belle one of the greatest singers ever to exist
and someone I would love to meet sings a song by that title! Sometimes we wait
too long to say "if only you knew", how much I love you!
It doesn't matter
today how often I remember telling my mom "how much I loved her" it
seems it wasn't enough! Its that feeling I am dealing with today! We say
"I love you so quickly that do we actually listen and siphon the words
"I LOVE YOU"!
"I", you're persona, you're entity, you're heart you're being
, yes I loved you mom!
"Love",
this is used so frequently we forget what love truly means! Love is
patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It
is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no
record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. This is
familiar to all believers and non-believers!
Love is like air. You can't see it, but you can feel it. But
more importantly, LOVE makes that person important and
it's absence unbearable! This is why humans have difficulty losing
someone they love. A piece of themselves is missing! They are never whole
again!
"You", well you is an individual! A
special love designed, nurtured, practiced for that entity! Usually another
human, but can be a pet or just about anything living you have become attached
to. However in a human sense, it takes greater meaning !You yes, just
you!
And so today , I can't stop thinking,
did my mother "know just how much she meant to me"!
I left her February 2nd, I kissed
her, said I LOVE YOU as usual never anticipating as I looked in the rear view
mirror as she went with her walker to get the mail, that it would be
my last view of the woman that meant the world to me!
My mom was more than a mom! She was my dad and
my friend! My mother knew things about me I have yet to discover!
With my mom went tradition, values, virtue,
unconditional love, wisdom and my very close friend.
For some reason, I needed to tell you that
today Mom!
Chat soon,
You're son! Dr Q
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Abilio's View: Swayed by beauty! Make prison wear famous!
Abilio's View: Swayed by beauty! Make prison wear famous!: What has happened to our society! Today it seems how you dress or don't, how you act or don't and even excuses from abuse to everyone else d...
Swayed by beauty! Make prison wear famous!
What has happened to our society! Today it seems how you dress or don't, how you act or don't and even excuses from abuse to everyone else did it, gets you out of a mess. We as a society have become so visual, that sometimes the obvious gets blurred!
One can think of OJ Simpson, Michael Jackson and so many others that get their way by either how they act or dress! You want a day off show up dysfunctional with you're sleep wear! You want to get off the glove don't fit! I have my opinions om both of these and many others but judges and jury are swayed by what I call very expensive props!
The sad thing is we are Americans or even the world get caught up in this nonsense! I read about a dozen magazines from glamour (Rob is a make-up artist) to Newsweek and Time and I like reading the nonsense but try to get to the meat of a story so I may read one or two paragraphs, the rest is an opinion or propaganda! Being 54 I can tell the difference!
I always wonder why we are swayed by beauty. I tend to be disgusted by beauty and swing to that kid or family that seem to be wearing the last good garment they own! Often with beauty comes stupidity or the blond curling her hair with her finger as if she left her brain at home! Some of these women hold empires and are very intelligent! I am not picking on blonds, for after all there is always Palin to prove me wrong!
I will discuss men on another blog but they too use props to sway the justice system and it seems we love a good/bad story!
How about this, next time someone walks into a court for something they do, we strip them down wash their makeup off and give them jail uniforms. This way the justice system sees them as they are, criminals!
Chat soon
Dr Q
One can think of OJ Simpson, Michael Jackson and so many others that get their way by either how they act or dress! You want a day off show up dysfunctional with you're sleep wear! You want to get off the glove don't fit! I have my opinions om both of these and many others but judges and jury are swayed by what I call very expensive props!
The sad thing is we are Americans or even the world get caught up in this nonsense! I read about a dozen magazines from glamour (Rob is a make-up artist) to Newsweek and Time and I like reading the nonsense but try to get to the meat of a story so I may read one or two paragraphs, the rest is an opinion or propaganda! Being 54 I can tell the difference!
I always wonder why we are swayed by beauty. I tend to be disgusted by beauty and swing to that kid or family that seem to be wearing the last good garment they own! Often with beauty comes stupidity or the blond curling her hair with her finger as if she left her brain at home! Some of these women hold empires and are very intelligent! I am not picking on blonds, for after all there is always Palin to prove me wrong!
I will discuss men on another blog but they too use props to sway the justice system and it seems we love a good/bad story!
How about this, next time someone walks into a court for something they do, we strip them down wash their makeup off and give them jail uniforms. This way the justice system sees them as they are, criminals!
Chat soon
Dr Q
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
A View From Two Queens: The past 60 days without MOM!
A View From Two Queens: The past 60 days without MOM!: Well Bette Midler has a remake of a song appropriate for these notes, it's called, "Hello In There"! It's a song about life and getting ol...
Abilio's View: A note to my mother!
Abilio's View: A note to my mother!: The past 60 days without MOM! Well Bette Midler has a remake of a song appropriate for these notes, it's called, "Hello In There"! I...
A note to my mother!
The past 60 days without MOM!
Well Bette Midler has a remake of a song appropriate for these notes, it's called, "Hello In There"!
It's a song about life and getting old! It's appropriate for eventually besides the hollow eyes we end up with and the sadness as we lose loved ones and eventually ending with us, we all have a responsibility to keeping an eye on the older ones as times takes their youth away!
I am in that cycle as was my mother before her death. Yes, I saw the hollow eyes and it was over! Lets all take time to say "hello in there" to everyone passing by but especially those up in years!
It's been tough mom! It's been lonely in Hudson! When you left the core fell apart!You would think one of us would of taken over from you, but that was not part of the plan! Everyone has their interest, their agenda and you kept us together somehow! I am sorry I could not be the one! I sometimes wish I was a core that kept a family together, but that's not my role in life it seems. I could keep a group of 500 people focused on a goal at work, but cannot keep a family of 3 together.
Rob and I bought a new car, we settled with the insurances and the two accidents. That in itself had it's challenges! Their is no money in accidents! When you get done you have bad health and nothing to enjoy life a little bit more!
One never plans for the death of their father and mother! I am glad I always saw you as if everyday was you're last and appreciated you as such! And even though we planned as such, the plan was not in writing and it fell apart!Sometimes I walk the block with Bette and I look for someone to say "hello in there"! But this is Hudson and most of the neighbors are looking for the same thing! So I reach out and in the process somehow help myself "in there"!
I see a therapist, but the economy or world in general is bad so he is also too busy to see me weekly! Now I plan ahead to see him but sometimes I am so sick I can't get out of bed. Doctor's have become a challenge, because I am a challenge!
Their has been rumor's of my various illness, but if people knew that sometimes the pain is loneliness! People don't realize "loneliness" is the number one cause of death in the world! It's a mental thing mom! We never could keep still! But in 60 days that has changed so much as you said it would! Leaving the house is a challenge! The thought of why, just why am I here, but to bother people is in my mind daily!
Well we will make it to the 90 days and then 6 months and no doubt a year! We have plans to go see the kids in Boston and if all works well Madeira so Rob can see where I was born! We do little monthly trips to nearby to keep me going. I live for Rob, the man you adored I adore also! Youre right mom, he is a keeper!
Love and missed you are!
You're son!
It's a song about life and getting old! It's appropriate for eventually besides the hollow eyes we end up with and the sadness as we lose loved ones and eventually ending with us, we all have a responsibility to keeping an eye on the older ones as times takes their youth away!
I am in that cycle as was my mother before her death. Yes, I saw the hollow eyes and it was over! Lets all take time to say "hello in there" to everyone passing by but especially those up in years!
It's been tough mom! It's been lonely in Hudson! When you left the core fell apart!You would think one of us would of taken over from you, but that was not part of the plan! Everyone has their interest, their agenda and you kept us together somehow! I am sorry I could not be the one! I sometimes wish I was a core that kept a family together, but that's not my role in life it seems. I could keep a group of 500 people focused on a goal at work, but cannot keep a family of 3 together.
Rob and I bought a new car, we settled with the insurances and the two accidents. That in itself had it's challenges! Their is no money in accidents! When you get done you have bad health and nothing to enjoy life a little bit more!
One never plans for the death of their father and mother! I am glad I always saw you as if everyday was you're last and appreciated you as such! And even though we planned as such, the plan was not in writing and it fell apart!Sometimes I walk the block with Bette and I look for someone to say "hello in there"! But this is Hudson and most of the neighbors are looking for the same thing! So I reach out and in the process somehow help myself "in there"!
I see a therapist, but the economy or world in general is bad so he is also too busy to see me weekly! Now I plan ahead to see him but sometimes I am so sick I can't get out of bed. Doctor's have become a challenge, because I am a challenge!
Their has been rumor's of my various illness, but if people knew that sometimes the pain is loneliness! People don't realize "loneliness" is the number one cause of death in the world! It's a mental thing mom! We never could keep still! But in 60 days that has changed so much as you said it would! Leaving the house is a challenge! The thought of why, just why am I here, but to bother people is in my mind daily!
Well we will make it to the 90 days and then 6 months and no doubt a year! We have plans to go see the kids in Boston and if all works well Madeira so Rob can see where I was born! We do little monthly trips to nearby to keep me going. I live for Rob, the man you adored I adore also! Youre right mom, he is a keeper!
Love and missed you are!
You're son!
Abilio's View: Remembering my mother
Abilio's View: Remembering my mother: Mother, as I walk through the journey of life, I remember. I remember how you helped me to grow with love, truth, and honesty. I remember...
Remembering my mother
Mother,
as I walk through the journey of life,
I remember.
I remember how you helped me to grow
with love, truth, and honesty.
I remember how you helped me to choose the right path
with values, morals, and self worth.
I remember how you gave me dreams
with hope and confidence.
As I remember,
I prayed to be a father like you were my mother,
to shape my children into strong adults,
full of hopes and dreams.
You made me who I am today,
and I will always remember you in life's passings
for no one could touch my life as you have.
as I walk through the journey of life,
I remember.
I remember how you helped me to grow
with love, truth, and honesty.
I remember how you helped me to choose the right path
with values, morals, and self worth.
I remember how you gave me dreams
with hope and confidence.
As I remember,
I prayed to be a father like you were my mother,
to shape my children into strong adults,
full of hopes and dreams.
You made me who I am today,
and I will always remember you in life's passings
for no one could touch my life as you have.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Abilio's View: Almost a month Mom, Updates
Abilio's View: Almost a month Mom, Updates: Therapy is often important to write out you're feelings and in time I can let you go! I still can't believe tomorrow makes a month we lost y...
Almost a month Mom, Updates
Therapy is often important to write out you're feelings and in time I can let you go! I still can't believe tomorrow makes a month we lost you! The last time I saw you was 30 days ago. I have gone longer without seeing or hearing from you, the difference is I know you're no longer there.
Yesterday as Iwas getting more medication as I deal with you're loss at Sweetbay, I looked at stripe and remembered how you made a wonderful dish with that. I also have the rosemary you were growing and I remember the fish head dishes you made with it. Everyday I smell it so I can feel you're presence.
I did not get a chance to say bye to dad. For I am sure multiple reasons both my brother and sister don;t talk to me and she took dad not allowing me to say good buy. I know my brother is driving you're car though illegal and I understand the furniture will be sold and then everything abandoned.I can't sleep nights thinks of how wrong all this is. We could of gone to probate court and done this the right way!
I am so sad that what you worked so hard for is being mishandled. I am so sorry that dad is sleeping in a twin bed somewhere in Kelly's house with a family of 7 instead of his home on his queen bed. He must be ggoing crazy not knowing what is going on though we know he has phase 4 Alzheimer it's still not right!
Robert gets tired of me speaking about the injustice being done, so I write and it helps.There was so much that I still wanted to tell you! Having money in just one of you're children s name means youre youngest son gets to keep the 120k plus and not have to share it with you're children. I am sure you did not know that. To abandon the house , must have you rolling around, but since you were cremated you can't! That was a joke cause I need a joke here and there to continue to make sense of all of this!
I had a sleep study and oxygen test and they need to add oxygen to my CPAP machine! I can't seem to lose weight and have never been so fat in my life. It's my back, leg neck head, you name it mom it hurts and then there is the emotional challenge of losing you!
You're grandson Shaun has medical challenges from the motorcycle accident he had at age 12 and he also is seeing lots of doctors. I don;t think he will be able to work and will no doubt go on disability. He has problems like me with his legs because of 4 herniated disks!
We are all falling apart but we are here and you're not! I still can't go to the steak house because it was our place. I can't do Buffett, but I never really liked it! I did it for you! I have you're cruise picture and you're wedding pictures. Now I have almost the entire history on my wall from when you were 16 until you're passing!
These make me happy! I love you mom and tomorrow I will drop you a line!
Youre son!
Abilio
Yesterday as Iwas getting more medication as I deal with you're loss at Sweetbay, I looked at stripe and remembered how you made a wonderful dish with that. I also have the rosemary you were growing and I remember the fish head dishes you made with it. Everyday I smell it so I can feel you're presence.
I did not get a chance to say bye to dad. For I am sure multiple reasons both my brother and sister don;t talk to me and she took dad not allowing me to say good buy. I know my brother is driving you're car though illegal and I understand the furniture will be sold and then everything abandoned.I can't sleep nights thinks of how wrong all this is. We could of gone to probate court and done this the right way!
I am so sad that what you worked so hard for is being mishandled. I am so sorry that dad is sleeping in a twin bed somewhere in Kelly's house with a family of 7 instead of his home on his queen bed. He must be ggoing crazy not knowing what is going on though we know he has phase 4 Alzheimer it's still not right!
Robert gets tired of me speaking about the injustice being done, so I write and it helps.There was so much that I still wanted to tell you! Having money in just one of you're children s name means youre youngest son gets to keep the 120k plus and not have to share it with you're children. I am sure you did not know that. To abandon the house , must have you rolling around, but since you were cremated you can't! That was a joke cause I need a joke here and there to continue to make sense of all of this!
I had a sleep study and oxygen test and they need to add oxygen to my CPAP machine! I can't seem to lose weight and have never been so fat in my life. It's my back, leg neck head, you name it mom it hurts and then there is the emotional challenge of losing you!
You're grandson Shaun has medical challenges from the motorcycle accident he had at age 12 and he also is seeing lots of doctors. I don;t think he will be able to work and will no doubt go on disability. He has problems like me with his legs because of 4 herniated disks!
We are all falling apart but we are here and you're not! I still can't go to the steak house because it was our place. I can't do Buffett, but I never really liked it! I did it for you! I have you're cruise picture and you're wedding pictures. Now I have almost the entire history on my wall from when you were 16 until you're passing!
These make me happy! I love you mom and tomorrow I will drop you a line!
Youre son!
Abilio
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Abilio's View: Hi mom, some family updates
Abilio's View: Hi mom, some family updates: Its unbelievable its almost a month since you left us! It will be on you're grandson's name, Shaun for he was born on February 3rd. I know d...
Hi mom, some family updates
Its unbelievable its almost a month since you left us! It will be on you're grandson's name, Shaun for he was born on February 3rd. I know down deep you knew both Sherry and Shaun are my children, but it always hurt when you knew Kelly was because you're daughter had them and who knows what Isabel did and with whom. Mom I can honestly say "Isabel was in love with me"! I say that because I know what being in love with! I am deeply "in love with the man you adored, Rob"! So yes they are my children you're grandchildren and it was on his birthday and mine you decided to leave us!
Since you left division has developed. two of you're children want to abandon the house and car rather than go through probate court, Dad has left for Taunton where both of you hated l living due to the cold. Where he will live is not defined but it will be in a full house. Kelly got her way though you're son and I had agreed he would live in his house and I and Rob would take care of him!
It looks like you're son has moved into the house! It looks for I have been bared from the house, dad and to find out what is happening and to accomplish you're will that was not very well defined I have to hire a lawyer and use the little money I have!
You kept the family as a unit and when you let within 5 days you're pure existence ceased. I apologize if I repeat myself but my therapist says writing to you helps me deal with my own challenges.I had a fear of loosing you since childhood! I could never imagine a life without you! I should of stayed with you for I would be next to you every night and with me maybe you would live!
But I know you hated living in dialysis 3 times a week. You were a woman who hated sitting down too long. You loved shopping , visiting you're family always being busy. To be tied to a machine 3 times a week for 6 hours was not a life you enjoyed. You also were not treated well by you're son who has no patience. I saw you're fear! I hope it was not a pillow and she kept saying he would do to dad that killed you. Sometimes I wonder about my brother by DCF says all is OK, but they have no idea!
Well mom I will continue to fight for what you told me that you and dad were to live in the house until both you die! Rob and I can make sure that happens and I promise you that if I can I will keep pursuing righteous. Between the value of the house and the app. 100k you're son has and the car he can live for a long time. I amazes me mom why my siblings are not thinking this way! But It's Kelly and the mighty dollar!
well I will talk to you on you're anniversary March 3rd!
Love
You're son!
Since you left division has developed. two of you're children want to abandon the house and car rather than go through probate court, Dad has left for Taunton where both of you hated l living due to the cold. Where he will live is not defined but it will be in a full house. Kelly got her way though you're son and I had agreed he would live in his house and I and Rob would take care of him!
It looks like you're son has moved into the house! It looks for I have been bared from the house, dad and to find out what is happening and to accomplish you're will that was not very well defined I have to hire a lawyer and use the little money I have!
You kept the family as a unit and when you let within 5 days you're pure existence ceased. I apologize if I repeat myself but my therapist says writing to you helps me deal with my own challenges.I had a fear of loosing you since childhood! I could never imagine a life without you! I should of stayed with you for I would be next to you every night and with me maybe you would live!
But I know you hated living in dialysis 3 times a week. You were a woman who hated sitting down too long. You loved shopping , visiting you're family always being busy. To be tied to a machine 3 times a week for 6 hours was not a life you enjoyed. You also were not treated well by you're son who has no patience. I saw you're fear! I hope it was not a pillow and she kept saying he would do to dad that killed you. Sometimes I wonder about my brother by DCF says all is OK, but they have no idea!
Well mom I will continue to fight for what you told me that you and dad were to live in the house until both you die! Rob and I can make sure that happens and I promise you that if I can I will keep pursuing righteous. Between the value of the house and the app. 100k you're son has and the car he can live for a long time. I amazes me mom why my siblings are not thinking this way! But It's Kelly and the mighty dollar!
well I will talk to you on you're anniversary March 3rd!
Love
You're son!
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Abilio's View: A letter to my mother
Abilio's View: A letter to my mother: I never told you the times I remember you sewing with a small light when I awoke up at night back in Madeira! I never told you how I app...
A letter to my mother
I never told you the times I remember you sewing with a
small light when I awoke up at night back in Madeira! I never told you how I
appreciated you working 3 jobs to raise us! I never told you how much you’re
pure existence meant to me!
Sometimes we think we do! But in reality we never truly tell
our parents how much they mean to us! You see mom, to me you are immortal! You
may not be here physically but you are spiritually! Every thought I have came
from you, every decision I make came from you and the very being I am came from
you!
You leaf behind a legacy “ME”!
What you did not know or probably expect is that within 5
days you’re very presence cease to exist in youre own home! This haunts me for
it’s bad enough I never said good buy, I never got to touch feel and let go of you’re
precious things. I guess mom to me everything you did was precious! Everything
you wore was precious everything you said was precious.
I am sorry my siblings saw it fit to deliver you’re precious
stuff to me in garbage bags! I guess they never saw you the way I did !I am
though happy that you kept things almost 40 years, yes things that obvious were
precious to you because I have them now and I gave them to you when I was 16!
I never got to tell you how much I appreciated you adoring
Robert! I will always remember Mom, “be nice to him, he is a good guy, he is a
keeper’ be good to him he will stay with you forever”!
I can barely remember you on the coach but I do remember it
was not the side you sad on! I did not see all the oxygen hoses going throughout
the house (yes mom I knew you were hooked on oxygen)! I never knew oxygen can
kill you and I will never know if that is what happened!
I am sorry I did not stay the night and hold you! You were
always so caring toward me, and did not want me to be bothered with helping
you! You had my little brother and he had plenty of time. I am sorry he was not
there holding you as you died from the heart surgery or too much oxygen! I am
sorry I came to help and had 4 surgeries in 2011 that caused my own challenges!
I am sorry you left such a simple will that did not define much!
It has created division amongst us and it’s not something I think any of us
wanted! Maybe I should of taken some time to see what kind of will you had but
then again you never wanted to bother me!
I will always remember shopping with you and I will always remember
you taking care of me when I came out. I will never forget the years we did
breakfast every Saturday even if Isabel hated it! I am happy I could buy you
things then behind her back and when I was with Robert. You see mom we lost
five years because I married Robert but he loved you as much as you adored him!
I am sorry you’re other children think less of me! I know
the bond a gay man has with his mother and we have had it since birth. I
apologize for those that think our love was any less than the other two! As I
mother I know better! My love for you will be there until the day I die!
I have to say I am so deeply sorry we lost 5 years over
nonsense, for it never mattered! I am sorry you were hurt by others but never
by me! Sometimes people mean well but in the process they influence you’re
thinking mom so I am sorry if I did things that made you embarrassed because of
what others said or thought!
And most of all I am so sorry that you died on a day I was
born the 3rd! Maybe I should be happy for on that day you gave me
life and since we all have to die you chose my day! Maybe, just maybe, I am
special after all!
I am sorry that I do have health challenges and taking care
of Dad would be a burden on Rob the man you adored. I was going to fight for I
know you I am like you a fighter for righteous, and I know you would have wanted
dad to stay in his house until he died, but I don’t have the health and means
to care for him!
You see Mom you left all the money hidden with you’re
youngest son and he does not like dad! I am sorry you’re children are allowing him
to go up to the cold north and I am so, so sorry for what he may have to deal
with, though he won’t know anyway!
I am sorry you’re ashes has become a great deal to two of you’re
children! Though it was agreed to share them, you’re youngest insists ion
keeping both urn/s though mine does not match his furniture as his does! You
see mom I would have been happy with just the urn, for I did not get it to
match the furniture I got it because it was the cheapest and you were paying
for it! Dam, even at that I am like you!
I have to sign off for now mom, but I have to apologize for
one more thing! I am sorry that on February 3rd, 2012 I lost my
mother, sister and brother! You’re dead and live within me in spirit and they
are alive and dead within me in spirit!
Just so you know mom, I know see a therapist to help me deal
with loosing you and my brother and sister! In some way thought Dad is alive
because of his Alzheimer’s he too is dead in a sense! It’s allot to deal with
so I got some help! I know you would of wanted that!
I apologize for them for you lived 77 years and 36 days and
within 5 days you’re pure existence ceased in you’re own home! I am sorry but
this I WILL never forget!
My love for you will be everlasting as yours was to me unconditional!
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Being HIV positive a private matter
My brother over a custody and financial battle over my mothers death has decided to pass along rumors of me being HIV positive. First its sad that it has come to this for I could say a few things about my brother and I refuse to go there. But you only have to look at me to see my status, I don't know if I could say the same about him loosing 40 lbs in weeks, but like I said I won't go there. And if I was it is nobody's business, it's a private matter!
The mysterious illness is two automobile accidents that has cause two back surgeries and 4 screws to support my spine and 4 prostate surgeries just in 2011 alone. If my brother cared it would not be mysterious. Less focus on Mom's assets and more focus on your own life that seems to be full of secrets not mysteries!
The mysterious illness is two automobile accidents that has cause two back surgeries and 4 screws to support my spine and 4 prostate surgeries just in 2011 alone. If my brother cared it would not be mysterious. Less focus on Mom's assets and more focus on your own life that seems to be full of secrets not mysteries!
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Abilio's View: Nosa mae, Nosa Amore (Our mother, Our Love)
Abilio's View: Nosa mae, Nosa Amore (Our mother, Our Love): It's appropriate the title of my last blog on my mother, for she was Portuguese! There is only 3 left Maderian's after my mother, My brother...
Abilio's View: Gone but never forgotten, my mother!
Abilio's View: Gone but never forgotten, my mother!: I first want to apologize for sleeping most of the ceremonial events yesterday! I know it's a memory of my mother and something I requested!...
Gone but never forgotten, my mother!
I first want to apologize for sleeping most of the ceremonial events yesterday! I know it's a memory of my mother and something I requested! But I could not deal with it. Though I talk about death as part of life, dealing with the loss of my mother is another story!
For people that did not know my mother! She was more than a mother! She was also one of my closest friends! I could tell my mother everything. She often said "you're so much like you're father"! We talked about the future, my health and sex as if I was talking to my partner! My mother was very excepting of today's generation and of me as a gay man. You see my mother always knew!
My mother loved Robert as her son! I will miss that most of all! She always said "hold on to that man, he is a good man"! I remember the tears from the hard work and I especially remember that small light as she worked all night to finish a tablecloth! I was always amazed at my mom!
There were times she was very lonely! There were times I hurt her unintentionally and there were times she enjoyed life to it's fullest! My mother was wise, sometimes too wise! The first time she saw me after my inital surgery, she said "my son you will never work again"! I sometimes hated that, but she was always right! If I was sick, it was my my mom I called first for remedies no-one else has or are made by pills. For a cold "it's a shot of auguardate, teaspoon of honey and half a lemon"! I used that on my children and myself till today!
The world continues, the flowers will bloom, the sun will rise and set! The birds will sing, the grass will turn green. We will go on eating, drinking and traveling! But it will never be the same, for the woman that gave me birth, the woman that worried about me, the woman that loved and squeezer my hand will no longer be there!
Until the day I die my mother, you will be in my dreams! You will be in every rose I see! You will be in the wind as it hits my skin! You will be in my every thought, every memory, every being!
I will never forget you my mother, for mothers are never forgotten! Every time I look at my tattoos, every time I get a cold, every time I look in the mirror, I am reminded of one amazing woman, MY MOTHER!
You're son,
Jose Abilio DeSousa (o seu Abilio)
For people that did not know my mother! She was more than a mother! She was also one of my closest friends! I could tell my mother everything. She often said "you're so much like you're father"! We talked about the future, my health and sex as if I was talking to my partner! My mother was very excepting of today's generation and of me as a gay man. You see my mother always knew!
My mother loved Robert as her son! I will miss that most of all! She always said "hold on to that man, he is a good man"! I remember the tears from the hard work and I especially remember that small light as she worked all night to finish a tablecloth! I was always amazed at my mom!
There were times she was very lonely! There were times I hurt her unintentionally and there were times she enjoyed life to it's fullest! My mother was wise, sometimes too wise! The first time she saw me after my inital surgery, she said "my son you will never work again"! I sometimes hated that, but she was always right! If I was sick, it was my my mom I called first for remedies no-one else has or are made by pills. For a cold "it's a shot of auguardate, teaspoon of honey and half a lemon"! I used that on my children and myself till today!
The world continues, the flowers will bloom, the sun will rise and set! The birds will sing, the grass will turn green. We will go on eating, drinking and traveling! But it will never be the same, for the woman that gave me birth, the woman that worried about me, the woman that loved and squeezer my hand will no longer be there!
Until the day I die my mother, you will be in my dreams! You will be in every rose I see! You will be in the wind as it hits my skin! You will be in my every thought, every memory, every being!
I will never forget you my mother, for mothers are never forgotten! Every time I look at my tattoos, every time I get a cold, every time I look in the mirror, I am reminded of one amazing woman, MY MOTHER!
You're son,
Jose Abilio DeSousa (o seu Abilio)
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Nosa mae, Nosa Amore (Our mother, Our Love)
It's appropriate the title of my last blog on my mother, for she was Portuguese! There is only 3 left Maderian's after my mother, My brother, My sister and I! My mom passed away yesterday February 3, 2012 living 77 years! She passed away 5 days before her grandson's 11 birthday! He will never get to know his great grandmother, so let me write down something for the archives! She leaves 3 children and 3 grandchildren so her memory will live on!
My mother was born in 1934 December 28 into a poor family on a farm. From what she told us she started working from the day she remembers! My mother got married early and had 3 children exactly 4 years apart, making me the middle child! I used to kid with my mother about getting the worse of the deal but more on that later!
My mother left Madeira without my father in 1968 and came to America to follow her sisters and provide a better life for her children. Those days in the late 60's early 70's were hard, but we never lacked love! My mother worked 2 or 3 jobs to make ends meet but eventually she found someone who she married (just happened to have the same name as my dad ) and they bought a house and lived together until her recent death
This is the day after, so writing this is like having my wrists cut! My heart will never heal, for a piece of me is gone forever! Though they say people continue living in us, I cannot pick up the phone and call my mother! I can't tell her all the things I have been waiting to say, the time is gone!
As a child I always remember my mother working! In Madeira it was sewing beautiful tablecloths by hand! I happen to have the last two she sewed! From the time I remember I was always loved, from the time I remember I was always wanted!I loved my mother for everything she represented. I never thought this time would come! I never thought a world would exist without my mother!
Though my mother was the most amazing woman in the world, we lost some time over silly things, time one never gets back! However the last two years we spent lots of time together. My mother did something to me that always made me feel good. During those days of my surgery, or when I felt like the middle child (middle children feel this), she always held my hand and squeezed. Most of the time it was as if hidden from my brother and sister! It was a bond between us!
I am sure they had their special touch or maybe even the same one, but to me my mother was my rock! That tighten fist was telling me "you're special, you're my son"! We both knew what it meant! No words were needed!
And so I have to finish! This is the hardest thing I had to write, for their are no words to express the emptiness in my heart after losing my mother. I got her to smile one last time just before her surgery (it's on this blog)! I knew then it was her last picture, though I did not want to believe it! I saw the writing in the walls, but did not want to read them! I kissed her and said see you tomorrow! That still stands mom, I'll see you soon! My mother, my rock!
As always I leave with this:
My mother was born in 1934 December 28 into a poor family on a farm. From what she told us she started working from the day she remembers! My mother got married early and had 3 children exactly 4 years apart, making me the middle child! I used to kid with my mother about getting the worse of the deal but more on that later!
My mother left Madeira without my father in 1968 and came to America to follow her sisters and provide a better life for her children. Those days in the late 60's early 70's were hard, but we never lacked love! My mother worked 2 or 3 jobs to make ends meet but eventually she found someone who she married (just happened to have the same name as my dad ) and they bought a house and lived together until her recent death
This is the day after, so writing this is like having my wrists cut! My heart will never heal, for a piece of me is gone forever! Though they say people continue living in us, I cannot pick up the phone and call my mother! I can't tell her all the things I have been waiting to say, the time is gone!
As a child I always remember my mother working! In Madeira it was sewing beautiful tablecloths by hand! I happen to have the last two she sewed! From the time I remember I was always loved, from the time I remember I was always wanted!I loved my mother for everything she represented. I never thought this time would come! I never thought a world would exist without my mother!
Though my mother was the most amazing woman in the world, we lost some time over silly things, time one never gets back! However the last two years we spent lots of time together. My mother did something to me that always made me feel good. During those days of my surgery, or when I felt like the middle child (middle children feel this), she always held my hand and squeezed. Most of the time it was as if hidden from my brother and sister! It was a bond between us!
I am sure they had their special touch or maybe even the same one, but to me my mother was my rock! That tighten fist was telling me "you're special, you're my son"! We both knew what it meant! No words were needed!
And so I have to finish! This is the hardest thing I had to write, for their are no words to express the emptiness in my heart after losing my mother. I got her to smile one last time just before her surgery (it's on this blog)! I knew then it was her last picture, though I did not want to believe it! I saw the writing in the walls, but did not want to read them! I kissed her and said see you tomorrow! That still stands mom, I'll see you soon! My mother, my rock!
As always I leave with this:
- You were there when we took our first steps,
And went unsteadily across the floor.
You pushed and prodded: encouraged and guided,
Until our steps took us out the door...
You worry now "Are they ok?"
Is there more you could have done?
As we walk the paths of our unknown
You wonder"Where have my children gone?"
Where we are is where you have led us,
With your special love you showed us a way,
To believe in ourselves and the decisions we make.
Taking on the challenge of life day-to-day.
And where we go you can be sure,
In spirit you shall never be alone.
For where you are is what matters most to us,
Because to us that will always be home...
You're son!
Dr Q
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Abilio's View: A Letter To My Daughter
Abilio's View: A Letter To My Daughter: I spent the weekend watching showtime due to leg pain and other health issues (and a letter to my son, will follow) and I could not sleep to...
A Letter To My Daughter
I spent the weekend watching showtime due to leg pain and other health issues (and a letter to my son, will follow) and I could not sleep tonight of all the things I want to say to my daughter!
As I lay around no longer working, people don't realize the human brain keeps working! So if not occupied with what I used to enjoy, that is Managing People and building award winning extreme talented teams, I think of other things! Last night it was all about my daughter!
I don't think daughters realize how special they are to their dad's! I remember telling Isabel when she was born "our life will never be the same"! It seems like yesterday and Sherry made sure it never was. Just being born she had an issue with it! Hr mother almost died giving her birth!
Ever since then she has been the start in my eye! No dad could be prouder than I of what woman she became! I remember when she left the bus crying and soiled her pants because the teacher would not let her go to the bathroom! I taught her the next day how much I loved her and taught her self respect! Of course many years later this would come back to haunt me, but that was my Sherry! She never road a school bus again!
I remember the struggle on why she could not play basketball shirtless! I said "if you play shirtless, the boys won't be looking at the ball"! The sports bra was introduced! That was my Sherry!
I remember her reading way before she could, on the back of my pacer and I knew she would be successful like her mother and I! She has our work ethics! That is my Sherry!
Sherry may not remember. but it was after her performance on stage at Cohannet School that she first said these words "Dad you're so gay"!I don't think she meant them literally, but she knew her dad and she was right!It was her strength to be independent and who she wanted to be sometimes fighting the established system, that gave me the strength to accept who I am today! That was and is my Sherry!
There is so much more for the almost 36 years she has been on earth that I could say! But I leave this as I leave allot of my memories, with a poem:
I have this little angel. For me she left her wings.
She has no idea how much happiness she truly brings.
She brightens up my days with her smiles and her laughs.
She helps me to remember what being a dad was like.
Not a day goes by that she is not in my mind.
Not an hour goes by she is not in my sight!
I usually sign Dr Q, but for this one!
You're Dad
As I lay around no longer working, people don't realize the human brain keeps working! So if not occupied with what I used to enjoy, that is Managing People and building award winning extreme talented teams, I think of other things! Last night it was all about my daughter!
I don't think daughters realize how special they are to their dad's! I remember telling Isabel when she was born "our life will never be the same"! It seems like yesterday and Sherry made sure it never was. Just being born she had an issue with it! Hr mother almost died giving her birth!
Ever since then she has been the start in my eye! No dad could be prouder than I of what woman she became! I remember when she left the bus crying and soiled her pants because the teacher would not let her go to the bathroom! I taught her the next day how much I loved her and taught her self respect! Of course many years later this would come back to haunt me, but that was my Sherry! She never road a school bus again!
I remember the struggle on why she could not play basketball shirtless! I said "if you play shirtless, the boys won't be looking at the ball"! The sports bra was introduced! That was my Sherry!
I remember her reading way before she could, on the back of my pacer and I knew she would be successful like her mother and I! She has our work ethics! That is my Sherry!
Sherry may not remember. but it was after her performance on stage at Cohannet School that she first said these words "Dad you're so gay"!I don't think she meant them literally, but she knew her dad and she was right!It was her strength to be independent and who she wanted to be sometimes fighting the established system, that gave me the strength to accept who I am today! That was and is my Sherry!
There is so much more for the almost 36 years she has been on earth that I could say! But I leave this as I leave allot of my memories, with a poem:
I have this little angel. For me she left her wings.
She has no idea how much happiness she truly brings.
She brightens up my days with her smiles and her laughs.
She helps me to remember what being a dad was like.
Not a day goes by that she is not in my mind.
Not an hour goes by she is not in my sight!
I usually sign Dr Q, but for this one!
You're Dad
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
My Mother. My Hero
Why do I call my mother my hero? Well for one thing she was the only parental figure I ever had. My dad was rarely involved and that was one of the reasons I was deeply involved in the caring of my two children as an adult! I watched and learned parental skills from my mother.
But back to my mother! I remember as a child waking up at night and my mother would be sewing! Actually if she was not taking care of us, she was sewing. You see my mother sewed by hand tablecloths! I am a proud owner of the last two she did! That was her passion but arthritis took that way long ago!
When my dad made it difficult to be with, my mother took 3 children to the US! We were ages 5, 9 12! I was the middle child. My mother took pride in her children so presentation was very important to her. She spent months teaching us how to eat properly like wealthy people for we were staying in a hotel in Lisbon and she wanted her children to look the part though financially we were poor.My mother was and is elegant, proper and beautiful! Presentation was very important to her, so her children had to live to a standard she created!
My mother always made sure she explained why we had what we had and why we did not. My mother filled in with love what we lacked in material things.My mother took a dollar and made two! My mother taught us to always pay cash for you're stuff (something I did not follow until now). My mother worked 3 jobs when we arrived in America so we could live interdependent and not be a burden on others or the government!
My mother was not perfect, but that is what made her special!As a child I saw many things that my mother did or did not do! Being an analytical child, I knew in time I would understand! My mother made mistakes she wishes she could change, but that is being human. Even at the worse of times, I never thought my mother never loved me. That was instilled in me as a child!
I was the middle child, so I did not take the punishment for when things went wrong, that went to my sister. My brother could do nothing wrong since he was her baby then and still today! I was the one that fell between the two, the emotional one, the special one as she says, the one she spend many nights not sleeping worrying about! You see my mother always new, but never did we speak about it until I was 40.
When I thought about writing about my mother, I knew I would have tears flowing, not for what may happen today but for what has happened during the last 53 years! The privilege of having a loving, caring, wonderful joyful mother that forever lives within me!
Dr Q
"everyday is mothers day"
But back to my mother! I remember as a child waking up at night and my mother would be sewing! Actually if she was not taking care of us, she was sewing. You see my mother sewed by hand tablecloths! I am a proud owner of the last two she did! That was her passion but arthritis took that way long ago!
When my dad made it difficult to be with, my mother took 3 children to the US! We were ages 5, 9 12! I was the middle child. My mother took pride in her children so presentation was very important to her. She spent months teaching us how to eat properly like wealthy people for we were staying in a hotel in Lisbon and she wanted her children to look the part though financially we were poor.My mother was and is elegant, proper and beautiful! Presentation was very important to her, so her children had to live to a standard she created!
My mother always made sure she explained why we had what we had and why we did not. My mother filled in with love what we lacked in material things.My mother took a dollar and made two! My mother taught us to always pay cash for you're stuff (something I did not follow until now). My mother worked 3 jobs when we arrived in America so we could live interdependent and not be a burden on others or the government!
My mother was not perfect, but that is what made her special!As a child I saw many things that my mother did or did not do! Being an analytical child, I knew in time I would understand! My mother made mistakes she wishes she could change, but that is being human. Even at the worse of times, I never thought my mother never loved me. That was instilled in me as a child!
I was the middle child, so I did not take the punishment for when things went wrong, that went to my sister. My brother could do nothing wrong since he was her baby then and still today! I was the one that fell between the two, the emotional one, the special one as she says, the one she spend many nights not sleeping worrying about! You see my mother always new, but never did we speak about it until I was 40.
When I thought about writing about my mother, I knew I would have tears flowing, not for what may happen today but for what has happened during the last 53 years! The privilege of having a loving, caring, wonderful joyful mother that forever lives within me!
Dr Q
"everyday is mothers day"
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
You just lost 365 days! And you're happy!
First unlike most people I've always hated losing a year! To me it's like gambling and losing five dollars! You never get it back. The only good thing about losing a year is that you've hopefully learned something in the past year and now are more educated and/or more advanced in life.
I mean hopefully, you achieved some goals and if nothing else you've established memories. Some people will say "thank the creator" that year is over, maybe due to hardship. But remember you can never go back so you're a year closer to death! If you haven't gained something in the last year then you lost 365 days of you're life, never to regain it!
Even if you have a blessed year, it's one that is gone and never to return. It's for this reason that losing a day and a year always bothered me. I was never happy another arrived! Oh yeah you will see me with the glasses at a local establishment with people I enjoy and my love, but that is a reason for celebration not a reason to be happy I just lost a year!
After 30 you start appreciating days, weeks, months never mind years! After 50 you start hoping the time slows down like when you were 10 and in school and it took forever for the day to end! Unforgettably they speed up as you age.
So yes Happy New Year to you all! But for me, I am sad I just lost 365 days! Most of which I won't remember but I will feel!
Dr Q
I mean hopefully, you achieved some goals and if nothing else you've established memories. Some people will say "thank the creator" that year is over, maybe due to hardship. But remember you can never go back so you're a year closer to death! If you haven't gained something in the last year then you lost 365 days of you're life, never to regain it!
Even if you have a blessed year, it's one that is gone and never to return. It's for this reason that losing a day and a year always bothered me. I was never happy another arrived! Oh yeah you will see me with the glasses at a local establishment with people I enjoy and my love, but that is a reason for celebration not a reason to be happy I just lost a year!
After 30 you start appreciating days, weeks, months never mind years! After 50 you start hoping the time slows down like when you were 10 and in school and it took forever for the day to end! Unforgettably they speed up as you age.
So yes Happy New Year to you all! But for me, I am sad I just lost 365 days! Most of which I won't remember but I will feel!
Dr Q
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